Tabiyat Kaisi Hai: How Are You Today

Telephone rings...

I check the number, its from one of those acquaintances who like me as well as do not like me. They like me because I do not like them, that way they do not have burden of doing something that I like. They do not like me thereby I like them, that way they do not have onus of doing anything for me at all.

I click on Accept.

I announce ‘Tabiyat achhi hai. I am doing fine, I am not sick, I have no fever, throat is clear, all my lab tests look fine, my blood sugar is within limits’. With this third call since morning my Quixote in me comes alive.

There is silence on the other side.

My announcement continues...in a well rehearsed manner: ‘I go for 5 km walk, every day. Do yoga for 30 minutes everyday. Every day means every day, no Sundays. You know after retirement there is nothing like Sunday , I mean Monday is equal to Sunday, and Sunday is equal to Monday !’ So, either all days working or all days are unworking. But, unworking is working, Shakespeare! Therfore, all days working. A cheer comes on my face. All my life I worked so that some day I funnel down to unworking pot. So, why does my face blushes when work shows up? I don’t know. Like working of Allopath medicines, ‘for reasons unknown!’.

Another patch of silence.

‘Man, but I didn’t even talk about your health!’

‘But, I thought you shall talk’

‘I didn’t think of that thought until this time’

‘May be you will think in future!’

Silence.

‘Are you ok?’

‘Yes, I am ok, I already told you about my blood report, daily routine and every thing, so you are required to think that I am ok even if I am not ok!’

‘All those crap are not enough to prove that you are ok. You are a nerd, that’s enough to tell me that you are not ok'

Telephone hangs up with a bang!

…

Now,

Tabiyat kaisi hai? How is your health?

…

Tabiyat kaisi hai? How is your health?

…

Tabiyat kaisi hai? How is your health?

…

Hell with this Tabiyat Kaisi hai !

My mind travels back in time by half a century...

We used to talk about cricket, the spin trios-Chandra, Prasanna and Venkata, the two Ganeshans, Mala and Malini, next prime minister, cold war, of Nixon and Kissinger and Khrushchev, how to seal a crack in the wall, office politics, promotion list, …

The intonations, rhythm, bass and trebles are varying but most are unable to conceal the eagerness to listen the 'news' that I am not ok! That, I have this problem and that problem and this pain and that fall and that bone crack...

And, then tons of advises will start pouring like Hundru falls. I will listen them like a tame animal in the zoo while mostly shaking head from sky to earth and in the directions of sunrise and sunset. My closely guarded secret that I am hard of hearing is still to open up, and that helps!

By my telling I am Ok both parties are relieved as if a UN Agreement has been signed with no outcome. Their research paper on eschatology doesn’t proceed, unfortunately.

‘Well, I thought you may not be Ok because its raining hard these days.’

‘But, I love the dark clouds, the wind, the lightnings and the raindrops. Do you remember the paper boats we used to make to sail in the nearby ponds?’

‘Yes, I remember it was a thrill. But, boy its not your age now’

‘What age has to do with thrill?'

Silence

'In fact boating has become easier now.’

‘How come?’

‘Remember, we used to ride bikes at times to distant ponds for paper boating.’

‘Yes, but how come it has become easier now in a city of concrete?’

‘Because roads have become ponds, no need of bicycling, ponds have biked themselves to our place!’

‘Love your sense of humour. I am now convinced that you are Ok, no need of showing blood reports, x rays and CTs’

‘Thanks.’

We both hang up simultaneously, as if we signed on an agreement of non-interference in order to interfere again!

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